DARWIN is on his 12th year of teaching, currently at Springville High School teaching astronomy, geology, environmental science, and physics. He also teaches physics at UVU for a 7 week STEM summer school program for junior high students. He also teaches teenagers in our church ward. He's super busy, but still makes time to be an awesome dad and husband.
That's how I feel emotionally right now. Dar and I experienced the biggest trial of our marriage back in October. We found out that we were expecting back in September but then we miscarried at 10.5 weeks. The event unfortunately took us to the emergency room. It was tough then, and it still surprises me how hard it continues to be.But, I'm glad that our trials make us stronger. I'm glad to know that I have a loving Heavenly Father who carries me when I cannot walk on my own. I'm glad to know that I have a supportive, loving husband who means the world to me and takes the best care of me. I'm grateful for his patience and unfaltering kindness as I continue to struggle with gaining control of my emotions sometimes. I'm grateful that the trial we've experienced has made our marriage stronger, has brought us closer together, and made us stronger as individuals. I'm grateful to have wonderful family and friends who support us when we need them most.
I try to put on a happy face, and I'm really quite happy most days. But have you ever experienced a trial or a loss that triggers your tears without warning? We'll be driving in the car and the most random song that has nothing to do with anything will make me cry. I see anyone walking down the hall on campus that brings the initial pain and memories back, and I cry. I've decided I need to stop reading blogs and facebook so the pain doesn't come back at unexpected moments. I appreciate that Dar understands that I'm an emotional female and always will be. :) My crying doesn't even phase him anymore because he knows I can turn into an emotional wreck without warning, but he holds me and lets me know that everything will be okay. He tells me that what matters most is that we have each other and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And I know he's right. He always makes me feel better, but it still doesn't take the pain away completely. Sometimes I feel like this trial will never end, but I try to have faith and put my trust in my Father in Heaven. I'm trying to submit my will to His, because I know that He knows me better than I know myself. He knows what's best for me, even if I think I know what's best for me in the moment. I'm grateful for His patience and for all that He continues to bless me with.
I'm grateful for trials that make us stronger. I just have to remind myself to keep putting one foot in front of the other in the meantime.
9 comments:
What a great reminder to keep an eternal perspective through difficult trials. You are amazing! I hope the pain decreases soon and that you can see more and more blessings come as a result.
Kiara, I'm so sorry you've been unhappy. Keep your faith & I hope things get easier over time. You'll be in my prayers. Love, Erin
We've been going through some pretty tough trials ourselves lately. Fast Sunday in February humbled and comforted me. I realized that the Lord is the only one who can truly make things better for us. One of the trials is completely out of my hands and I realized it that day. I realized that I had to put my FEAR aside and put FAITH in it's place. They CANNOT co-exist. I didn't realize that it WAS fear that I was feeling and since I finally recognized it, things started to get better. The Lord recognized that finally knew it and he was comforting me. The other trials ARE in my control, to a point, but I still have to rely on the Lord to help me through them because I KNOW that Paul and I can't do it without His help. Hang in there. Put that Fear aside and bring in that Faith and you'll be comforted! You're strong. I know you can make it through this and anything that may come!
You always have a way to look for the good in a situation instead of becoming a victim of your trials! I am so proud of you! I hope your pain decreases and soon ceases. We love ya guys!!
Lately, when I encounter something stressful or bad I have literally had to sit down and say, "Can I change this?" If I can't, I have to let it go or "give it to God." It's just too stressful and unhealthy worrying about things I can't change and have no power over. Hang in there. It's a process... a journey.
Kiara.. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. You are such a strong person with a strong spirit. You are a Great example to me and an Awesome Friend! When that time comes you guys will be Amazing parents.
Its hard to say that I know how you feel, but in a way I do. We have been through a lot here, and it really has made me rely on the Lord. Its been hard to put ALL my trust in Him, and know that He does know us and whats best for us! Why we couldn't have got a job 4 months ago is WAY beyond me, but now I have such a geater testimony in so many aspects of the gospel that I am SOOO grateful for the trials now that I(hopefully) see the light! Love you tons, and wish I could be there to cry with you because I have become VERY emotional too! We could watch Wipeout and cry! :)
Your story will unroll, just as Heavenly Father has planned for you.
I found the trick to be, waiting patiently. And turning my will over to the Father's.
so sorry to hear about this kiara and darwin. of the little that i know of you two, i am sure you will be awesome parents when the time comes. i have a lot of friends/family that have struggled with similar things-- so hard. hugs to you guys.
Post a Comment