Happy Birthday, Nastassia.

Thanks to Josh Groban for singing about our feelings.  I've really fallen in love with this song over the last few months since I first heard it. I can't help but think about Stassia when I hear it.

Nastassia, we love you and miss you more than you know.

You are forever in our hearts!
Happy Birthday, angel baby.

Savannah's Story

Better late than never, right?  My usual "free time" to use the computer, during Aurora's nap time, has been spent taking naps myself since Savannah joined us, thus why I haven't posted this yet :)

We opted for an elected induction this time, hoping to get our timing right for Darwin to have two weeks at home, and it worked!  He took last week off to be home with us and this week is Spring Break.  How lucky we are to have him home with us for so long!!  So, here's Savannah's story finally (feel free to not read the whole thing--this is really just for my records)...

The morning of Friday March 22nd, I spent doing some last minute cleaning and I'm happy to say my house was pretty spotless when I left to go to the hospital (I was SO bugged that I still had dishes in my sink when I went to the hospital to have Aurora and I was determined that wouldn't happen again!), and I also spent some one-on-one time with Aurora.  My BFF, Tracee, picked us up about 11:30 to take me to the hospital and Aurora home with her.  Tracee said she felt like she was taking me to the airport because she was just dropping me off at the curb.  Haha.

I checked into Labor and Delivery at noon as planned, and crossed my fingers that I wouldn't progress faster than I pictured in my head, to make sure Darwin got to be there for Savannah's birth.  He had to work the day I was induced in order to have the entire next week off.  Everything went more smoothly this time.  It only took 3 attempts at my IV to get it in (rather than 1.5 hours and numerous pokes and bruises with Aurora).  I was already at 4 cm and 70% when I got to the hospital.  I was started on pitocin by 1:30 and by 2:30 I was ready for my epidural--mostly because every time I had a contraction I would get a sharp pain in the ribs on my right side that made it really hard to breathe.  I'm pretty sure Savannah had bruised my ribs with her kicking and that's the spot that hurt so bad during contractions.  I'm glad I asked for the epidural when I did, but I was bummed Darwin wasn't at the hospital with me yet to hold my hand while the anesthesiologist got it in.  My nurse, Kathie, was an okay substitute though :)  The epidural was TONS better this time!!  I was pain free but could still move my legs, and it worked almost instantly rather than taking two hours to kick in like it did with Aurora.  The epidural was in by 3:00, and Darwin got to the hospital about 3:20.  I was so glad when he got there, and that Savannah hadn't come yet :)  My nurse checked me just after Dar got there and I was dilated to a 6 and 80%.

After Dar got there, a couple nurses came in and asked if we wanted to participate in a study to monitor the baby's heart rate, more like an EKG, which would help better determine fetal distress during delivery.  They said we may not make it though, since I was progressing so quickly, but we decided to read through the paperwork anyway, just in case.  I was totally up for participating because I think studies are great and beneficial.  As we were reading, my nurse called my doctor at about 3:50 to let her know Darwin was at the hospital and we were ready when she was.  Her clinic is right across the street from the hospital where I delivered and she said she had about 5 more patients she wanted to see and she'd come break my water at 5:00.  We were fine with that, and continued reading the paperwork for the study.  About 5 minutes after the nurse had told us my doctor would come at 5:00, my water broke on its own about 3:55pm.  Dar and I actually heard it pop on the monitor!  Haha!  I called in the nurse, she checked me and I was at 9 cm and 100% effaced.  When my water broke, Savannah's heart rate dropped so the nurse slapped the oxygen on me and made me lay on my side.  Her heart rate picked back up in that position, but the nurse was certainly feeling rushed all of a sudden.  She called my doctor and told her she needed to come right away.

My doctor was there in the room with us within like 3 minutes...seriously.  She probably ran across the street because she knew how urgent things became.  Everything happened so fast after my water broke!  When she got there I was ready to push.  I started pushing at 4:03 and Savannah was born at 4:09pm.  I had to push for a whopping 6 minutes :)  Apparently my tailbone dislocated, and Dr. Harrison and the nurse she brought with her from her office heard it pop.  Dar and I didn't hear it, but I was glad that it really didn't hurt as much as I expected after delivery.

I was actually a bit nervous when Savannah was born because she didn't cry and she didn't look like she was moving.  The cord had been wrapped around her neck, which is why her heart rate dropped when my water broke.  Dr. Harrison said she was going to take Savannah over to the table and try to get her to cry, but on her way over there Savannah let out the cutest little squeal and I totally cried when I heard it, partly from relief that she was okay and partly out of sheer joy that our healthy little baby girl had joined the world.  She was perfect--10 fingers, 10 toes, and everything in its place.  Savannah's delivery and birth were in such huge contrast to the last time we were there delivering a baby, our little Nastassia, that I couldn't help but cry with relief and happiness that this little munchkin was here and healthy.

Like I said, things went so quickly and so well this time, we were very pleased.  After she was born we spent some time with just the three of us in the room.  It was so nice and peaceful.  I love the sacredness of a new child entering the world and basking in the miracle of it all.  How truly blessed we are to be parents!!

Our newest princess, goopy eyes and everything :)

Happy Daddy!

I wasn't given the option to go to the nursery with Darwin and Aurora when she was born, so when the nurse asked if I wanted to go this time I jumped at the opportunity.  It must have been a pretty slow day for delieveries because there were only two other babies in the nursery besides Savannah, although I'm sure there were other babies in their rooms.  Either way, it was nice to be in the nursery with my teeny little one this time.

We are oh! so proud of that head of hair! :)

Savannah has more and darker hair than Aurora did.  We're just hoping she keeps it! 

I love that we have a picture of Aurora holding Dar's finger like this too

 

Aurora didn't get to meet her new baby sister until the next morning.  We decided that would probably be best because we figured she wouldn't want to leave us if she came to the hospital the night after Savannah was born.  (A HUGE thank you again, Tracee, for being so wonderful and taking Aurora over night for us.  You're the BEST!!!)  From the very beginning, Aurora loved her baby sister.  As soon as she saw her, she just kept saying "Vannah" over and over again like she couldn't believe Savannah was finally here.  It's the only thing she said for about 5 minutes.  It was stinking cute!  It kind of felt like they were just reuniting after a long absence from each other and Aurora was super happy to be with her sister again :)

Our little family :)

They gave each other gifts at the hospital--Savannah gave Aurora a cute little penguin named Waddles

 

Aurora gave Savannah an adorable little bunny named Hopson

 

Aurora stayed at the hospital with us for the day, and she did really well for being there for so long.  We were all happy that we got to go home so early though.  We had to stay for 24 hours after Savannah was born, but we were home by 6:30pm Saturday night.  So nice!

Ready to go home!

Our sweet little Savannah

 First morning at home and so very proud to be a big sister!

 Rori loves to hold and kiss her baby sister!

 

We're are SO GLAD you're here, Savannah!

We love you so incredibly already!!

Welcome to the world, baby girl.

Savannah Belle

Our 3rd little princess has entered the world, happy, healthy, and beautiful.  We're so glad you're here Savannah!

Savannah Belle

March 22, 2013, 4:09pm

7 lbs

18 inches

Please ignore the red eye if it comes up.  I really did fix it but it still showing up for some reason.  Guh!

More to come later...

Stickers.

This girl loves 'em!

 

 

 

Gotta love her creativity :)

 Silly, Rori.

 

More of the munchkin.

I hadn't uploaded these pictures from our camera to the computer yet, and Dar had the camera at school with him the day I did the last post.  So, now that I have the pictures, here's more of what we've been doing this month:

Aurora thinks everything of Savannah's is hers.  Technically it was, once.

"Sleeping" in Vannah's bed

 

Cutie :)

Preparing to be a good big sister

 Dar was working on our computer to figure out what's wrong with it--but that's another story for another time--and he noticed Aurora was quiet all of a sudden.  He found her in the basket underneath the bassinet, and we had to pull her out when it was time for dinner.  She didn't want to leave her new hiding spot.  Silly girl!

Dar got an iPad from work--lucky duck--and Aurora thinks its hers.  She definitely knows how to navigate it better than I do!  Smart little thing.

P.S.

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Hope you're wearing green!

Not much going on around here.

We've had a pretty easy going March so far.  Not much to blog about.  Aurora and I have been doing little things each week (with Dar's help when we need it) to get ready for baby Savannah.  When we're not cleaning or prepping things (i.e. nesting) we're enjoying just hanging out together, and more recently we've loved PLAYING OUTSIDE again now that the weather has warmed up (I even got a tiny little sunburn yesterday!).  It's great to be social again with all our mom friends and their kids who live near us.  We really have such great friends in our ward and I feel so blessed to be surrounded by such great and amazing ladies.  I know several of you read our blog--you know who you are!  Thanks for being such great friends and examples to me.  I love you all!

Just to play a little catch-up with our goings-on this month, enjoy some photos! :)

 Aurora's preferred way of flossing her teeth at night before bed.  Silly girl.

Sunday nap after church.  I haven't gotten a picture of them like this in a long time.  It's so precious to me!

 

Talking to herself on both of our phones at the same time.  She really likes the echo :)

 

She loves to sit under the pillows on our bed.  Cozy, eh?

 I took this picture last Monday--we had to bundle up a bit and there was still a bunch of snow.  The snow's all gone now and we've been playing outside without our jackets! Woo-Hoo!

 

 

I love this little munchkin of ours.  She's so much fun and I love how much she's talking.  Here are some of my favorite phrases of hers right now.

"I tid it!"

"Mommy, hold you"

(when she wants to be held)

"Eighteen-sirty, Rori."

(1830 is her favorite number and I'm pretty sure it's from us reading the D&C together--most of the sections are from 1830-something)

"Mommy, I find you."

"Daddy (or Mommy), I miss you."

(She'll say this even when we've been together all day, but especially when Dar gets home from work.  Sweet girl.)

"Calm down, William!"

(She picked this up from a neighbor kid telling his dog to calm down when it wouldn't stop barking.  She says "William" instead of "will ya?" Haha.)

"Stop it, guys! Stop it, guys!"

(This one cracks us up.  She says/sings it to us when we're just having a conversation, not even a heated one.  It's seriously hilarious and always makes us laugh--that's probably why she says it so much.)

"Scooz-ee, Vannah."

(Her way of saying "Excuse you, Savannah" when my stomach growls.  So funny!)

"Docker check ears. Fun!"

(We've been dealing with 2 consecutive ear infections, then a small rupture in her eardrum since just after Christmas and because I'm at the doctor's so frequently for my pregnancy, Aurora has been getting her ears checked each time we go in.  I'm glad she thinks it's fun and exciting to go see our doctor.  I don't blame her though.  Our doctor really is pretty awesome!)

"Nuggle chair!"

(What she says when it's time to take a nap or at bed time.  She loves for me to snuggle and rock her in the rocking chair still.  I just love that she requests it!)

Special V-Day treat

Dar's parents gave us gift cards to Baskin Robins for Valentine's Day, so we took the opportunity to go treat ourselves to some ice cream on Monday as part of our FHE activity.  Thank you, Baskin Robins for having a couple of non-dairy ice cream options!  Our baby girl was in heaven being able to actually eat ice cream out of the cone, instead of just eating a plain old cone like she usually does.  And I especially appreciated that she didn't have to eat ice cream that tastes just like her soy milk.  Lemon is definitely better!!

Here's to many more dairy-free ice cream outings, hopefully :)

Nastassia.

I've been thinking about her a lot lately.  I'm sure it's only natural because we're getting very close to the one year mark of losing our tiny little angel.  Sometimes the emotions are overwhelming, just like they were at first, and I find myself shedding those big alligator tears as I think about her extremely short existence and long to have her in my life.  I'm not sorry for our experience with Nastassia.  Not one bit.  I'm so grateful for the growth I have experienced on my own as an individual, and also for the growth Darwin and I have made together as husband and wife.  We're a team, and he's the best teammate I ever could have asked for :)  I'm grateful for the tender mercies of a loving Heavenly Father who allowed us to experience this extremely difficult trial because he knew it would make us stronger--and it has!

On Valentine's day while Aurora was napping, I took the opportunity to read some of the February Ensign, and two of the articles I read that day were exactly what I needed.  The Refining Fire of Grief and Lifting the Hands Which Hang Down both touched my heart, even though their stories were very different from ours.  My tears were sad as I read the articles and I couldn't help but think about Nastassia and our very personal experience with grief, but I felt the reassurance of Heavenly Father reminding me that Nastassia fulfilled her mission by getting the body she needed.  I'm grateful that Darwin and I were privileged to provide that body for her.

As we come up on our one year mark we've been discussing ways we could give back to the IHC Angel Watch program, which gave us some very priceless keepsakes to always remind us of our tiny little angel.  An idea I had a while ago, but we hadn't pursued until recently, was to ask jewelery stores to donate small jewelery boxes to place the fragile molds of the baby's hands and feet in.  When we were given our keepsake box, Nastassia's molds were given to us in a tiny hospital medicine cup.  We thought it would be nice to donate the jewelery boxes to the Angel Watch program so that other parents experiencing very difficult loss like we did will have a place that's more special to hold onto those precious molds.  We've been pleased so far with the response we've received from some of the local jewelery stores, but we still have a lot of work to do.  We plan to donate the boxes we receive to the Angel Watch program for our one year mark.  We're so grateful for the amazing gift we received when we were given our keepsake box and hope to make a tiny difference for other families as well.

We also plan to participate in the Running with Angels 5k run/walk again this year (and every year) which is a fundraiser to also help families like ours during their difficult time of loss.  We'd love to have you participate with us.  We'll let you know when we get registered and start our team if you want to sign up with us.  It's something we're really looking forward to participating in again.

I'm grateful to have reminders each and every day of our precious Nastassia Grace.  I told Darwin the other night that I'm so glad we chose Grace as her middle name because I think of her every time I hear or read the name/word "grace".

I've been asked by several people if I think that Savannah, the baby we're currently expecting, is actually Nastassia coming down in a different body.  No.  They are two very different spirits, and I know Nastassia fulfilled her mission.  Things happened the way they were supposed to, and I'm okay with that.  We are expecting our third daughter, and we're so grateful for all three of them!

The holiday of L-O-V-E

Our Valentine's Day this year was pretty low-key, but it was definitely nice.  The day before V-day, Aurora and I had some friends over to decorate festive sugar cookies.  I'm pretty sure it was more fun for the moms than it was for the kids, but I'm perfectly fine with that.  Thanks, ladies, for coming and for your contributions!  We'll have to do it again sometime soon!

Aurora really loved it, but I made her stop helping me when I realized she was eating more of the candy than decorating with it :)

 We were all able to make a TON of cookies, but with my pregnancy-sugar-kick, they definitely didn't last long at our house!
 

On Valentine's Day, Darwin was able to come home from work a little earlier than usual to spend time with us, which we were all grateful for.  I was determined to be more gung-ho about our dinner this year and decided to make everything from scratch: spaghetti sauce, meatballs, breadsticks, chocolate cream pie, etc.  I was grateful to Darwin for playing with Aurora and keeping her occupied while I cooked, but I decided that we're going to order pizza next year so I don't have to spend so long cooking so I can spend more time just being with the people I love on the holiday of love.  Luckily it all tasted pretty good, but it didn't turn out as perfectly as I had pictured in my head.  Yeah, ordering pizza next year is definitely a better idea :)

We hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day too!

Hyrum Jarrett

We have a new nephew and Aurora has a new cousin: Hyrum Jarrett.  He was born January 14th, two weeks early, and he fits right in with all the many other January birthdays we have in our family!  We had planned a couple different times to go up to meet him after he was born, but first we had to get over being sick.  Then, this happened and the weather was awful and we just didn't make it up there.

On Wednesday, we were blessed to have my family come down here to visit us!  Not only did we get to meet new baby Hyrum (Aurora says his name very well!), but my mom got to come to my ultrasound with me since Darwin had to work.  It was a very nice visit all around :)

 I was happy as a clam to snuggle him.  I didn't want to let my sister take him home!  Good thing I'll have a tiny one of my own to snuggle next month!

Aurora was super excited to hold Baby Hyrum

She kept giving him hugs and she got in some good smooches too :)

 

 Cousin Koda loves to hold Hyrum too, but she gets to see him more than we do!

 And just for kicks, here's Koda holding Aurora practically 2 years ago to the day the picture of Koda holding Hyrum was taken.  Man, time flies and kids grow like weeds!

Welcome to the family, baby Hyrum!  And it was so great to see you all, family!  We love you!

Prego Update

I feel like I really haven't posted a whole lot about this pregnancy.  Things were really emotionally rocky for me until we were about half way through (plus we really didn't even tell anyone until 16 weeks), but I've been much better since then.  I still get nervous and anxious that something could happen to this baby (I did have a friend lose a baby at 8 months gestation due to a cord accident--these things happen unfortunately) and I think I'll be that way until I have this little munchkin snuggled in my arms.  But, overall, I feel really pretty good--emotionally, physically, mentally, etc.  I feel like this pregnancy has flown by compared to Aurora's!

I'm 33 weeks today but wanted to post because I had an ultrasound yesterday to check on this baby's growth.  Unfortunately we didn't get very good pictures, so I'm not going to post them.  The main reason I had the ultrasound was because Aurora measured small towards the end not because of what happened with Nastassia, and I was very happy to hear that Savannah still looks great!  It's also nice to have the reassurance (again) that we're still having a girl! :)  Savannah's actually measuring at 34 weeks but the doctor said it really just means she's measuring in the 56th percentile, not that she'll come a week early, and that's okay.  She's currently measuring at 4 lbs 14 oz, but I know it's just an estimate.  My guess is that she'll end up bigger than Aurora was when she was born.  And, believe it or not, the doctor could actually see some hair on the top of her head!  We're always excited to hear that our baby will have hair, even if she's going to lose it and that it will take forever to grow back in like mine when I was a baby, and obviously Aurora's hair too.  Either way, it's exciting that we're getting so close to the end!  It was also nice when the specialist doctor doing the ultrasound yesterday (and who was there to help with my amniocentesis with Nastassia the night I was induced last April) congratulated me on a pretty uneventful pregnancy this time.  Yes, for that I feel very grateful!

I am really glad I still feel pretty good.  I actually weigh about 15 lbs less at this point than I did with Aurora and I'm very pleased about that!  Hopefully I don't have too much more to gain.  I haven't felt much up to exercising since I got really sick over Christmas, and now I'm just plain tired.  I plan to pick up my good exercise routine again after this baby comes :)  I turned Aurora-bath-time-duty completely over to Darwin a few weeks ago, mostly because it's just getting super uncomfortable to be down on the floor.

Savannah is pretty much head down, which is good.  Her head is actually in my right hip and she kicks me in the ribs ALL THE TIME!  I love when she stretches and I can feel her little foot, and she has a funky foot twitch thing she does pretty frequently.  She's definitely running out of room though.  I think we'll both be glad when she has more space to stretch out in!

We almost have everything ready for her to come.  We have a couple more items to purchase, and I still need to wash all of her clothes but then we should be set.  I'm trying to not get too anxious because I know the longer she stays in the better for her growth.  Plus I'm not quite ready to be awake in the middle of the night for feedings again yet.  I'm trying to soak up as much sleep as I can muster in these last few weeks :)

Anyway, enough of my random babbling.  I figured that just for kicks I'd post a belly shot since I haven't posted any this pregnancy.  This is me at 32 weeks last week.  On top of feeling (and looking) huge, I'm mostly just feeling tired a lot, but still hanging in there and super excited to have this little baby!  Only a few weeks left to go!

Dear Oregon,

It's been almost 5 long years since we walked on your beaches.  We are so very excited to be coming back to your coast.  This time we'll have two additional tots in tow and we can't wait to share our love of your ocean with them.  August can't come soon enough!

Love,
Kiarwin