Family Portrait

I have definitely fallen behind in my blogging again, but I'm determined to slowly get caught up!  I know it's November, but I have to wrap up September before moving on to October, so bear with me :)

September 18th is always a tender day for me.  It's the day we were due to give birth to our 2nd daughter, Nastassia.  She was due September 18, 2012.  We were devastated when we found out at 13 weeks gestation that the tiny life growing inside of me had severe deformities and it was very unlikely the baby would make it through the pregnancy.  At almost 17 weeks along, our tiny child no longer had a heartbeat.  We were heartbroken, but we were so grateful for the time we had to try to prepare ourselves for this possible outcome--I really don't think there's a way to ever prepare yourself for something like that.

As hard as it was to lose our tiny baby girl, it was such a peaceful experience to be in the delivery room together that night.  I can honestly say I've never felt closer to Heaven than I did in the hospital on the night of April 6, and the morning of April 7, 2012.  We held our tiny and lifeless Nastassia Grace for the first and the last time on this earth on April 7, 2012.

Although she's not here with us physically, Nastassia is still very much a part of our family.  We talk about her frequently with Aurora and Savannah.  I love that Aurora likes to talk about her with us. Savannah doesn't understand enough yet, nor does she have the words to communicate with us about her, although she does like to look at Stassia's picture in our living room.

My heart was deeply touched when Aurora drew a beautiful picture of our family just a couple of days before September 18th.  Nastassia had been on my mind a lot but I really hadn't talked to Aurora about it.  I love that Nastassia is on Aurora's mind too, even when I don't know it :)

Aurora's description of the picture she drew:
"My brother (Jesus) is the green one. Daddy is the black. Mom, you're the purple. Nastassia is between you guys, and me and Vannah are here at the bottom."

My tender heart was touched.  Thank you, sweet Aurora, for making my heart smile by remembering your sister who is waiting to greet us in Heaven someday :)

We love you, Nastassia!  You're in our hearts now and always!